


faded blue

by skatzaa



Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars: Leia Princess of Alderaan - Claudia Gray
Genre: F/F, Grief/Mourning, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Post-Star Wars: A New Hope, Pre-Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:47:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21611719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skatzaa/pseuds/skatzaa
Summary: Two women meet again in the forbidding cold of Echo Base.
Relationships: Amilyn Holdo/Leia Organa
Comments: 5
Kudos: 35
Collections: Star Wars Rare Pairs Exchange 2019





	faded blue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [happygiraffe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/happygiraffe/gifts).



> Hello all! Happygiraffe, I hope you enjoy this!

A knock echoed through the room.

Leia kept her eyes fixed on the ceiling, firmly away from the door and the altar in the opposite corner. It was so white, and the room so cold, that she was debating whether her room was made of durasteel, or carved out of the ice itself. The ice seemed improbable, but not out of the realm of possibility.

She didn’t want to deal with whoever it was. It wasn’t Luke; she always knew when it was Luke. She could handle Luke’s sunshine optimism and gentle empathy, usually, but she didn’t think she could handle anyone else.

Especially not Han’s particular brand of friendship.

Another knock.

Leia closed her eyes and tried to calm her mind. Luke had started sitting with her, when they both had a free moment or two, and walking her through what he knew of meditation. She didn’t hold with the Force, not like her father had, but Luke had said that she might find it helpful, as a way to process her grief and anger. She hadn’t necessarily agreed with his reasoning, but she also hadn’t been able to tell him no, not with the sad way he had looked at her.

She’d turned out to have an affinity for it, and she tried for that stillness now.

A third knock—louder this time, as if someone was standing on the other side of her door, pounding against the metal with the side of their fist.

Leia cracked one eye open and glared halfheartedly at the door. It was her day off, her first in almost three weeks, and Hoth was miserable enough without people running to fetch the princess for every minor catastrophe on base. Unless the Empire was on their doorstep or Luke had gotten himself thrown from a Tauntaun again and broken something critical, she didn’t want to be the one who had to care.

Not today.

She didn’t know if it was a kindness or a cruelty that she was scheduled to be off on the first anniversary of Alderaan’s murder. But she was leaning toward cruelty.

Then, a voice: “Leia.”

She sat up. She hadn’t heard that voice in over a year, since the last time she’d been on Coruscant, just before she left on the  _ Tantive _ to meet her father. It wasn’t possible. It wasn’t  _ possible. _

Again: “Songbird, please.”

Leia scrambled out of bed and across the room, hair falling into her face. She hadn’t had the energy to braid it that morning, and she regretted it as she had to push it out of her eyes. Leia slapped at the door controls, and then again, because the panel was as old as everything else in Echo Base, and never worked right the first time. Finally, the door groaned and slid back into the well, and Leia gaped.

“Hello, Leia,” Amilyn said, smiling and beautiful and  _ alive _ . Leia stared at her, eyes darting from her faded blue hair to her ungloved hands to her impractical boots. Her clothes were uncharacteristically dull, and her whole appearance was so pale she could almost blend into the opposite corridor wall. She seemed healthy, if tired, and Leia couldn’t understand how she was  _ here. _

Amilyn’s smile dimmed, and it was enough for Leia to lurch forward, hands outstretched. She stopped short before making contact, unsure if Amilyn would welcome her touch. Instead, she said, “You’re alive. I wasn’t sure—”

In the wake of the Battle of Yavin, as some of the Alliance had started to call it, it had become impossible to track a single Senator, especially after the Empire redoubled their presence on many previously-reticent worlds, Gatalenta included. And it had been equally impossible to leave any trace, however small and encrypted, for any of their allies to find their new location. 

Leia had left in the  _ Tantive _ after the Senate had dissolved, and Amilyn had stayed behind on Coruscant, insistent that she had to close the Gatalentan Embassy herself before reporting to the Council of Mothers. And it had been the last time they had seen each other—Leia standing before Amilyn in the Alderaani Embassy’s hangar, their hands clasped together and pressed to Amilyn’s chest, a fierce flame in Leia’s heart that had almost,  _ almost _ been extinguished on the Death Star alongside her planet.

Amilyn smiled anew and closed the gap between them, twining their hands together once more. Leia could feel the heat radiating from her body, so starkly warm against the cold of Echo Base. 

“I couldn’t get off of Coruscant, following the destruction of Alderaan,” Amilyn said, never one to sidestep delicate issues. Her voice had lost the sing-song quality that Leia had so loved when they were younger, but it was unmistakably hers. “And then I heard what had happened and I knew, if you were still alive, that I would have to be the dutiful ex-Senator who returned to her people. At least until you were able to contact me.”

Tears burned Leia’s eyes, and she disentangled their hands so she could hide against Amilyn’s shoulder. Amilyn brought her arms up around Leia’s back and folded her closer, until there was no space between their bodies.

“I’m sorry,” Leia gasped. The burning had spread to her throat, too, and she pressed herself even closer. “I couldn’t—it wasn’t safe. I’m sorry.”

“I know, songbird. It’s alright.” Amilyn shifted back, pushing them into Leia’s room. Leia, wishing a little that she had Luke’s ability to press buttons from across the room, freed one arm and slapped the control panel until the door rattled closed. They made it no further as Leia brought up her newly freed hand and gripped the back of Amilyn’s plain, practical coat. 

Leia breathed, and breathed, fighting the tears until she realized it was pointless, because they were already falling. She shuddered, and held Amilyn’s jacket tighter.

“How did you find us?” Leia asked, voice muffled.

Amilyn moved one hand to the back of Leia’s head, cradling it, her fingers weaving into Leia’s hair. She said, “I’ve been feeding information about the Imperial garrison on Gatalenta to Fulcrum for several months now. But our… informant was compromised, along with myself. Fulcrum decided it was time for me to be removed from the situation.”

Leia had never known just  _ how _ they were so well informed about Imperial movements in the Gatalen sector, though she had hoped that Amilyn was the reason. Fulcrum’s network was so extensive that she didn’t even have a guess as to which agent Amilyn had been in contact with; no one but Mon knew the true extent of the spiderweb, not even Draven.

Her father had known.

Amilyn held her until the tears dried, and then kept holding her. Leia clung to her just as tightly. And then Amilyn’s voice, gently saying, “Have you lit the candles of remembrance yet?”

“Not yet,” Leia said, and she meant  _ I’m not ready _ as much as she meant  _ no. _

As always, Amilyn understood what she didn’t say as well as what she did.

“That’s alright, songbird. Maybe later.” Her weight shifted again. “Should we lay down?”

Leia nodded, her face still pressed into the fabric over Amilyn’s shoulder. There was a million more questions to be asked, and tasks to be completed. Amilyn would have to be fully integrated into the Rebellion, and given a job that would suit her. And she would need gloves, if Leia was to keep her fingers from freezing off. But before that…

She pulled away just enough that she could look Amilyn in the eyes, and then she rose up onto her toes. As always, Amilyn met her halfway. The kiss felt more like coming home than anything she had felt in the year since she had watched Alderaan’s destruction. She closed her eyes and pressed closer.

When they broke apart, Amilyn was smiling. She glanced around the room and said, “Do you think I could find a place to practice skyfaring here? I brought my scarves.”

Leia laughed, and Amilyn did her the kindness of not commenting on how watery it was. She tried to imagine Amilyn in nothing but her leotard and scarves, dangling from the ceiling of one hangar or another while members of the Rebellion worked on the x-wings below. Luke would love it, and she resolved to introduce them. Later. Later, she and Amilyn would light the candles on the alter for her parents, and everyone else who died on Alderaan, and they would eat dinner in the mess, and report to Mon for Amilyn's posting.

But for now, Leia led Amilyn to the bed and they laid down together, boots abandoned on the floor. They curled close under the covers, their foreheads touching and legs intertwined. Leia held Amilyn’s hands to her chest and closed her eyes. Echo Base was cold, but together they were warm, and as safe as they possibly could be at the moment.

For the first time in months—maybe years—Leia relaxed.

**Author's Note:**

> ...now I really want to write a fic about Luke and Amilyn meeting, and Luke learning about skyfaring, and a fic about how Leia got the nickname songbird, and just about a million other things. I dunno what it is about my sw femslash ships, but I seem to write a lot of homecomings.
> 
> Thank you all for reading. Comments and kudos are always appreciated.


End file.
